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ADIOS BARBIE: THE FEMME DATING DILEMMA04 / 06 / 2017

For most of my adult life I’ve been seen as a femme: a feminine-presenting queer cis woman. I share my frustrations with others about our invisibility as queer women in our heteronormative culture. The only times I’ve felt visible within a queer couple is I’ve had a more masculine-presenting female partner. This type of coupling has its own hardships but in most cases, we’ve been seen by outsiders, as a couple. Unfortunately this isn’t always the case when I’m with another femme.

After 15 years of dating as a queer woman, I’ve become hyper-aware of the attention femme couples attract within our misogynistic society. I’m not entirely proud to admit that in my early years of dating I didn’t question the microaggressions and oversexualization I experienced. I accepted the catcalling, objectifying and blatant disrespect as the norm. I had never experienced anything different. I don’t have all answers but I can begin a dialog and commit to exposing this behavior.

Read it here.